Thoughts on Soren and Cancer - Why I do What I do part 2

Looking back on it, I don’t think it was a coincidence that Soren’s cancer diagnosis came when it did. It had been a tough year for many of us. The NGO we were working for at the time, ActionAid International, was going through another of its endless rounds of layoffs. The first such round I had experienced was not long after I had joined the organization in 2010 and they had been taking place every year or two since that time. Fortunately I hadn’t been personally affected.

But that time was different. Soren’s department (which I was part of) was basically being gutted. Everyone who was not attached to some specific external grant was being laid off. Soren survived by applying for a different post (a downgrade and a pay cut, if I remember correctly) but most of the team - myself included - parted ways with the organization.

It wasn’t until a few months later that I heard about Soren’s cancer diagnosis. I called him up to find out how serious it was - what stage of cancer, what type of cancer and so on. When I talked to him he was his usual self. I was tempted to say “usual cheerful self” but that would not have been accurate.

“Curmudgeon” is the word most people would use to describe Soren. He was fond of using it himself. One event that really sums up who Soren was took place at a human rights demonstration. Human rights demonstrations were Soren’s natural habitat (and my own). Between speeches, a mutual friend was having a conversation with Soren.

“So when do we get to the part where we stop talking about everything wrong in the world? I can’t wait for the speeches that make the shift to hope,” she said.

Soren’s response was deadpan. “I hate hope.”

Of course he would have had a lot more to say about it, how moods and feelings don’t really help to address real problems, how hope can be an artificial and unhelpful construct, and so on. But just those three words were enough for the moment. Enough to convey his own "no bullshit" attitude and to give his friends a laugh (at his expense).

Soren and I had conflicted over our food preferences over the years. I was vegan and then vegetarian for nearly all of the time we knew each other. He liked his hamburgers and his pork chops. Trying to agree on a restaurant was a challenge. If anyone (and it wouldn’t be me) told him his plate didn’t look very healthy he would scoff.

It’s tempting to blame the departed for things they could have done to stay here longer. That’s part of the grieving process. But the truth is I’m not sure that the result would have been any different had Soren been eating differently.

There are many different things that can cause of cancer. At the population level we can say with some certainty that processed foods, smoking, and increased sugar consumption are associated with higher cancer rates. But at the level of any given individual we can’t make a conclusion. Even some of the people who never touch a french fry in their lives will get cancer; some people who eat french fries every day will live to a ripe old age and die of something unrelated to cancer.

But what’s more, what kind of advice would someone like Soren have been following? Most doctors would probably advise someone who’s concerned about colorectal cancer to lower their meat intake, but we now know that there is no evidence to support that advice. That advice would probably lead to a higher intake of carbohydrates and sugar, and we know that sugar along with the amino acid glutamine are what cancers use for fuel.

At the time I didn’t understand any of that. When I learned of Soren’s diagnosis I was already in the process of starting to experiment with my own health. After leaving ActionAid I had begun the process of applying to universities to do a PhD in Anthropology. One of my first stops was the medical library where I became interested in the topic of cancer as a metabolic disease.

Soren was following the standard of care for a person with advanced cancer which meant a combination of chemo and radiation. He managed to “beat the cancer” - put it into remission - but it came back with a vengeance. (That’s often the case as I’ve since learned.) He might have beat it again, but died with COVID pneumonia in December of 2020.

Soren Ambrose was an exceptionally clever strategist focussed on the key issues of our moment. When I first heard about his desire to focus more on IMS reform (International Monetary Systems) I thought it was a bit esoteric. But once I understood the issue I saw that it was really about challenging the power of the US dollar, which is probably one of the most important conversations we can be having at this moment in time.

If Soren had made slightly different choices would he still be around? No one can answer that question. And it’s hard to even ask that question without sounding like I’m apportioning blame. But could Soren’s story be a cautionary tale? Would future generations of activists and policy wonks remember to spend at least a small percentage of their time and energy taking care of their health?

When Soren passed, I didn’t know the answer to that. To be honest I still don’t. But, as someone who by that point had demonstrated some competence in terms of being able to heal people from chronic illness, I had to at least try to be part of the solution to problem, I was now learning, that was omnipresent.